Homosexuality in Ancient Greece

Do we really know it all?

Maggie Kale
7 min readJul 22, 2021
A Man Courts a Youth, Who Holds a Garland. In Greek Homosexuality by K.J. Dover. Harvard University Press, 1978. 125.

InIn researching this article I found out that homosexual relationships in Ancient Greece could be assigned to three main categories: adult male-young male, adult male-adult male and, female-female. Here we are going to explore the view of Ancient Greeks on these relationships.

First, we need to understand that such a concept as homosexuality did not exist in Ancient Greece. For them, love was love regardless of gender. According to Livius.org, a website about ancient history, “homosexuality in fifth and fourth-century Athens, … was an integral part of social life” (Livius.org 2020). “Greek culture acknowledged that same-sex and opposite-sex sexual desires could naturally coexist in varying degrees in the same individual, … To the Greeks, same-sex sex was simply a sexual act. It did not define a type of person.” states the Washington Post website (Stone 2017).

Fist group: adult men and young boys

The reason why we are discussing this group first is that in Ancient Greece that was the most common form of homosexuality. Same-gender sex among adult men and women was not as widespread in Greece as this older men and young boys relationships were.

As described on History Extra’s website, such relationships were identified as pederasty, “an early form of paedophilia that involved the ritual kidnapping (harpagmos) of a boy from an elite background by an aristocratic adult male, with the consent of the boy’s father.” It is important to mention that those boys were not children. They were usually “between the ages of 15 and 19” (Stone 2017).

As crazy as it sounds now in the view of the Ancient Greeks there were several benefits to pederasty. The first being learning the skills of life. Usually, but it was not a requirement, the older man took his kleinos (the term for boys in pederasty) into the wilderness. They spent a few months there hunting, surviving, and learning the responsibilities a man has in his adult life. In the city-state of Sparta, it was also very common for warriors to take care of the younger soldiers protecting each other on the battlefields (Livius.org 2020).

Such “boot camps” were supposed to teach young boys how to be real men for their families when they come back. And they would also have sex. There is no real reason for the sex component, but that was a thing. If the boy was happy with the relationship with his philetor (the term for adult males in pederasty) after spending time away from society they would go back to civilization and live together. It is unclear how long their cohabitation would last. However, they most likely stopped when the adolescent became a proper adult because homosexuality among adult men was not as welcome.

A Man and a Boy Get into Position for Intercrural Copulation. In Greek Homosexuality by K.J. Dover. Harvard University Press, 1978. 156.

Another reason for encouraging pederasty so much was the purity of love. In Ancient Greece, it was believed that “the love between an older man and a younger one — is the purest form of love, as it has roots in the desire to share knowledge and worldviews” (Brinks 2019). Adult men were not only chasing the sexual act with younger boys, but they craved to share their wisdom with them as described above and thus such relationships were viewed as more spiritual ones. Teaching young boys the wisdom of life fed the mind and soul of both the student and the teacher with the sexual pleasure being a nice bonus to seal the relationship.

On top of that, male beauty was seen as almost divine in Ancient Greece which is another reason to engage in sexual acts with adolescents. The more beautiful the boy is the stronger is the spiritual connection between partners.

“The ancient ideal of male beauty: broad shoulders, large chest, muscles, a wasp’s waist, protruding buttocks, big thighs, long calves. A man’s forehead was not supposed to be too high, the nose had to be straight, and he had to have a projecting lower lip, a round chin, hawk eyes, and hair like a lion. His genitals had to be small; men with big penises looked like monkeys.” (Livius.org 2020)

Socrates himself had difficulty restraining himself near beautiful Greek boys. According to Plato, Socrates was boy crazy, and to cope with sexual desires towards adolescents he would teach them philosophy. However, Socrates would give in to the passions from time to time.

Second group: two adult men

This brings us to the second group of homosexuals in Ancient Greece. Why wouldn’t he just have a relationship with another adult man then? Well, in the case of Socrates it is unclear, however, many other men didn’t want to openly engage in relationships with other adult men because of the shame society would inflict on them. This doesn’t mean that such couples did not exist, they were just not as encouraged to be together. This was mainly because of the dominant and submissive roles in the relationship.

With older men and younger boys, everything is clear, the older one becomes the dominant partner, aka penetrates the younger partner. With both men being adults in the relationship who is going to be who? They were not big on switching back in the day so if one partner became dominant he would be dominant for the rest of the relationship with his submissive partner being regarded as the female in the couple.

As stated in Ranker Weird History’s website “Historians believe ancient Athenian men regarded penetration and dominance as a status symbol. If a man acted as the passive partner (pathikos), or if a fully grown man permitted penetration from another grown man, he often endured ridicule. The ancient Athenians had a derogatory name for these men: kinaidoi” (Brinks 2019).

Because pride and glory were big deal in Ancient Greece not many wanted to be regarded as the passive partner. Also, as a man you were expected to have sons hence you still had to marry to be seen as an accomplishment member of society.

Again, this does not mean that those couples did not exist. Homosexual couples of two adult men could even live together, states Livius website. They, however, were shamed and made fun of in society. Therefore, the majority chose to cheat. Many men (and women) would have affairs outside of marriage. For women of course it was not okay to sleep with other people aside from their husbands, but men were absolutely free to do whatever they wanted.

I doubt these could be even called “affairs” since they were so not secretive. Most men would have sex with younger boys and women, but other adult men too. In fact, it made more sense for an adult man (married or unmarried) to have sex with boys or men rather than women “due to the prevailing view that women were inferior beings who were inappropriate objects of the finer feelings. A man who wanted to love truly had to love another male” (Stone 2017).

Third group: two women

A Youth and Women. Note Their Facial Similarity. In Greek Homosexuality by K.J. Dover. Harvard University Press, 1978. 164.

This is the type historians know the least about perhaps because, as stated earlier, women were viewed as inferior to men and thus these relationships were kept in private. However, according to the Washington Post, there are a bunch of vases and terra cottas to prove that women did form homosexual couples. There is especially a lot of lesbian art in Sparta perhaps because Spartan women had much more authority in the society compared to the rest of Greece.

According to the book Greek Homosexuality by Kenneth James Dover, the most expressive lesbian relationships are described by Sappho in her poetry. Sappho was one of the most popular female poets in Ancient Greece. She was from the island of Lesbos from which the word “lesbian” originated. Most of what we now know about lesbian relationships comes from the writings of Sappho. Unfortunately, a big part of her work is now lost or impossible to read. From what scholars have been able to translate we know that Sappho was not only describing erotic scenes of female intercourse but also tried to teach girls lesbian sex.

Apart from Sappho, historians also know that there were beauty contests held both for men and women. In those contests, women who were the judges might have had sex with the participant to assess their sexual appeal. And in the female chorus, it wasn’t uncommon for female teachers to sleep with their female pupils (Dover 1978). This was very similar to the pederasty men participated in.

In conclusion, homosexuality in Ancient Greece took many different forms. In general, there was no stigma around same-gender sex, with some forms of it being more encouraged than others. The most popular was pederasty, an older man with a younger boy relationship. Then, we have two adult men relationships, which did exist but the passive partner was viewed as less of a man in those cases. And finally, lesbian relationships have been the least explored ones, possibly they were only welcome in certain parts of Ancient Greece.

References and further readings:

Brinks, Melissa. 2019. Sex In Ancient Greece: All The Juicy Details On What It Was Like. https://www.ranker.com/list/intimacy-in-ancient-greece/melissa-brinks.

Chrystal, Paul. n.d. “A brief history of sex and sexuality in Ancient Greece.” History Extra.

Dover, K.J. 1978. “Greek Homosexuality.” By K.J. Dover. Harvard University Press.

Livius.org. 2020. Greek Homosexuality. https://www.livius.org/articles/concept/greek-homosexuality/?

Stone, Geoffrey. 2017. Opinion: ‘Sex and the Constitution’: The ancient Greeks. https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/volokh-conspiracy/wp/2017/03/21/sex-and-the-constitution-the-ancient-greeks/.

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